In 2019, after a five year hiatus, I had an epiphany and decided to go back to the gym. (Definition of epiphany: my mother critiquing my weight and how much I was eating). But, it was not all about her, though. I wanted to be a better version of me.
So, I bought a Fitbit, a pair of sneakers, and some extra baggy t-shirts (in the hope that no one would notice my tummy as I was pretty self-conscious).
The First Day
On my first day, I was to get a ‘complimentary walkthrough’ to be shown the various equipment and features the gym had to offer. However, when I went to the front desk, they told me that they were short-staffed. So, I went to work-out on the only machine I knew how to operate- the treadmill.
The treadmill felt like the world’s biggest burden… but then again, I didn’t know how to use the other machines… so, what to do? I struggled managed for 45 minutes, and then my new gym routine just went downhill from there.
As I was going less and less, I thought I could do it on my own. My plan was to eat less, and walk up 6 flights of stairs 10 times a day. I found a decrepit multi-level car park that looked like it belonged in a scary movie- cobwebs, pigeons, and legions of little critters lived on the 6th floor. Nonetheless, I faithfully did my routine 5 times a week for a year in the car park.
Unfortunately though, I saw almost no change to my body. The protruding tummy was still there. Dammit!
How long was I gonna have to live sucking in my tummy? Sheesh!
Back in the Gym (Again)
Even worse, I was back in college at this time- with girls 10 years younger than me, all looking like fit, magazine cover models. And there I was- overweight and wobbly.
I decided to join the school gym. There was one of those body fat/fitness tests involved. I was there with around 20 other persons to go through the body analyzer.
When it was time for the results, we all gathered around the instructor for our pep talk. Unfortunately for me, mine was one of the worst. What the &*^%?? The machine must be broken! I stared bullets at the instructor. This had to be a big mistake. A part of me wanted to smack him on the arm….
And worse, as he was a bit of a hottie, I was a bit embarrassed… Oh well…. What to do?
Anyways, covid came along and no more gym for several months.
Don’t Give Up
After quarantine, I decided to give the gym another go, but this time, I did my research and read lots and lots of reviews to see which gym would mesh with me.
I signed up at another gym, and now I am on the treadmill five days a week. It seems to be a lot easier when you are working out with other people, so I am also in group fitness classes seven days a week.
I no longer feel scared, or stared at (when there was actually no one staring). I no longer wear oversized t-shirts, but feel quite comfortable in own skin. In all, I actually went through around 4 different gyms on my gym journey, and I have found that gym culture can make or break you.
The atmosphere, the layout, the set-up, the equipment, the people. It all plays a part in how well you fit in.
And, there are the set-backs, like injuries. For instance, I went on the spin-machine with bad form which affected my knees and I had to wear knee braces for a while. I had just assumed that you hopped on the bike, pedaled, and that’s it… boy, was I wrong. I did not know that the seat had to be a certain height for your body, or that your riding form was so important.
I have also found that qi gong works wonders for me. I did try yoga a couple times, but somehow, qi gong and tai chi are a better fit. I not only feel it more in my ethereal body, but there are some aches and pains that seem to only go away with certain qi gong moves.
All in all, it’s been quite the journey. Years ago, I was the exercise instructor’s ‘special case’, the person lagging behind, and complaining about what we were told to do. And now, yes, (I know it sounds cheesy)- but, yes, I am in better shape than when I was in my twenties.
So, just pick up a dumbbell and start somewhere.
Make a goal and do whatever it takes to stick to it.